When I was in my late 20s, I befriended a woman in her early 40s who was in my aerobics class at the gym I frequented at the time. I noticed her because of her perfect posture, postural alignment being something we physios can’t help but observe. When she jumped in class, it was a head higher than anyone else and, like me, she’d do an extra half hour of cardio on the stair master after class.
One time, we ended up side by side on the stair masters and I asked her if by any chance she was a dancer. She told me she used to dance for Les Grands Ballets Canadiens. Having grown up with a love of ballet, obsessed with Rudolf Nureyev and his ilk, I was gobsmacked. We became good friends and she was an important person in my life through the 1990s.
My friend had a great sense of fashion and style whether it came to hair, make-up or clothing. Nothing was ever overdone. Rather, she would make a statement through a great haircut, a bright coloured lipstick, glasses that framed her face beautifully or a strategically placed accessory.
I remember one piece of advice she gave me that has always stuck with me, a sort of forewarning. She said, « The older you are, the bigger and louder your accessories should be, to distract from the parts that are fading. »
Fast forward thirty-seven years and my parts are definitely fading. The thing is, now that I have arrived at this point, I don’t really care. I am quite happy to blend into the background and not be noticed. I have grown out my grey and I no longer wear make-up or jewelry. I am honoured to wear my age like a well-earned badge. It is truly liberating to let the small stuff go and make space for the things that really matter to me in my senior years. Yes, the lines are blurring but the pressure is off.
That being said, if there is one big and loud accessory I am happy to wear, it is my extroverted, larger than life husband. Who needs a designer pocket book when you have someone next to you willing to carry your heavy camera bag.
Neil Young was wrong. It isn’t better to burn out than it is to fade away.
Click here to listen to Neil Young’s My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue).
bogeyandruby 
Love this.
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Thank you, Frances!
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this is so adorable! Well done you. I however am with your friend. The older I got, (and the less I can see), the more important became the ‘accessory bits’. I can’t put any make-up on my eyes, because I would take my eyes out fumbling with mascara etc., so the glasses have become very important. In fact, I’m searching for new glasses for many months now because I’m tired of the two pairs I have presently. So far I’ve come across nothing of any interest, so I keep looking – also, HH is anything but a bold (bald, yes), larger-than-life guy, so it’s me who has to do the ‘sparkling’! I never leave the house without my very red lipstick. Being small, round, (HH says I’m his Ruben’s, a painter who created voluptuous, generous women in strong, vivid colours), white wild hair, white skin, I could easily be overlooked, with those wild curls and the red lipstick I am ‘visible’…. 😉 A matching scarf or a pairing with colourful shoes, a hair-band or just my smiling, positive attitude help me to not blend in too much. So, one could say; you as a couple and us are both very well matched – one sparkles, the other one tones in nicely!
I wish you and your love a happy second Advent Sunday.
PS: I haven’t got any ‘designer thing’, I’m more of a 2nd hand woman….
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Thanks for sharing, Kiki! We have never met and all I can see of you in a tiny thumbnail, glorious you with your beautiful hair and stylish sunglasses. Your sparkling personality shines through there and here in your generous and witty comments. Have a beautiful day being glorious you! Xo
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Hi Sharon,
I am in complete agreement, Neil Young was wrong!!
Also, I am reading and thoroughly enjoying these! You have a way of making the stories personal and universal at the same time.
And, I didnât discover that I was a âsocial introvertâ until my children were grown and out of the house! ð
xoro
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Thanks, Rose! As long as it takes, we shall get there. It is completely liberating when we do! ❤️
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