bogeyandruby

My dang fridge won’t die.

I’ve had this Amana fridge since I first moved out of my parents’ house in 1988. At the time, I paid $400 each for four appliances that came with the flat: fridge, stove, washer and drier.

To my knowledge, the only appliance of that set to actually conk out over time was the washing machine. I know this because I took it with me when I eventually moved out.

The apartment came fitted with a brand new dish washer that I used for the first time around 1994. It was only used then because the colleagues I’d invited over for dinner insisted, possibly to get out of helping me clean up. The event was formally dubbed “Dishwasher Inauguration”, complete with celebratory banners and photos of me loading the dirty dishes into the racks with a stupid grin on my face.

As best laid plans often go, the dish washer didn’t work at first; turns out it wasn’t actually connected to any water supply, a technicality my then boyfriend sorted out for me afterwards.

I rarely used it after that, even with everyone cheering me on. I don’t think I owned enough plates to fill it up, at least not until my first husband moved in sometime in 1998.

When ex-husband and I bought a house in 2001, we took all the appliances with us, except for the stove and dishwasher, because the new house came with those.

To be clear, we didn’t buy a house so that we could have more space to entertain. We bought it to accommodate our then expanding fur family that included two pugs and two cats

Fast forward to 2025. I now share that same house with a new husband, a twenty-one year old son, three senior lap dogs (all rescues) and four birds.

The washer and drier are long gone, exchanged for sleeker, stacking models. The dishwasher that came with the house never worked in the first place and rather than replace it, we use to store canned goods (I really don’t mind hand washing dishes). As for the stove, only half of the elements work. Think of it as kitchen camping.

Good thing I don’t cook. I also don’t entertain, unless you consider the occasional witty repartee or pithy observation over tea/coffee/me and a heartfelt chat to be a good enough reason to stop by. We do host music rehearsals and are now open for pit stops since we redid our powder room and changed our front door to a bright and welcoming yellow model that actually opens. No more yoo-hooing from the side door inviting guests to enter through the mud room entrance. I will however be buying a mat that reads “Goodbye” to counter any misconception that this is a party hub.

Back to the fridge. It simply keeps running, through wear and tear, neglect, abuse even.

We can’t wheel it out to clean behind it because apparently back in the 80s, you only cleaned behind your fridge when you moved or died, whichever came first.

I also can’t remove the drawing my son made in grade school because the tape I used to stick it on the freezer door has merged with the glass panel behind it.

The worst thing about this fridge is that I can’t use any of our vacation magnets to stick family photos and reminders on the front. Instead these items have been relegated to the narrow panels of magnetized fridge parts visible from the side. It’s simply not right.

I asked my son to help me measure the dimensions of the space because today the fridge is getting on my nerves and I am determined to clean behind it before I die, or at least before my next dinner party. I joked with my son that it is time to change the artwork on the front. He solemnly agreed.

If I lived alone, I would fill the space with a mini retro-coloured Smeg fridge in a happy colour like orange or lime green. Just big enough to hold my coffee cream and ready to heat microwave dinners. But I don’t live alone so I will have to buy a fridge large enough to accommodate a family of three humans, three dogs, four birds and the occasional guest.

I know I will regret this. They simply don’t make them like they used to. Something in between dispensable and indestructible will do. In the meantime, I am open to suggestions for recommended models. The only criteria are wheels.