bogeyandruby

My husband has suffered from chronic migraines all his life. It first came to his mother’s attention when she would find him, at two years old, standing against the wall with his forehead pressed against it. Without the vocabulary to describe his suffering, he sought relief from the pressure of the cool, hard plaster.

He’s tried just about every remedy in his almost seventy years on this earth, some more effective than others, but nothing brought relief in a way that was consistent, long lasting or that carried over from one day to the next.

Having suffered from migraines associated with nausea and vomiting in my 20s, I have an inkling of his suffering but not to that extent. Certainly not in terms of the raging relentlessness, intensity, frequency and duration of his. I am pretty certain mine were associated with the whiplash injury I sustained in a car accident my family was involved in while traveling through Scotland in 1980. To put it into perspective, the car was totalled and we kids weren’t wearing seatbelts in the backseat.

After many years of adjunct treatment (physiotherapy, osteopathy, rééducation posturale globale, relaxation techniques, etc), they pretty much went away.

A couple of years ago, I heard about a migraine clinic in our local city of Montreal. I encouraged my husband to get a referral from his family doctor which he did. Two years later, he has tried just about everything offered by the clinic, to no avail. That is until three months ago. The clinic has a very strict treatment protocol to follow, which in practical terms means, they try the cheapest, government funded medications first before moving onto the next. It’s taken that long to reach this penultimate trial medication (the final option being Botox), Vyepti, given by infusion. He had relief immediately the day after this IV treatment, something he described as « the fog lifting ». This relief lasted several days before a gradual return of the migraines. He has noticed, however, that his OTC consumption has decreased by sixty percent.

Today he returns for a second infusion, this time at a higher dose. We are hopeful that the effects will last longer and that will be the best Christmas present ever: a feeling of wellness, a lightness of being, over the holiday season and beyond. Quality of life thanks for modern medicine.

The migraines take up a lot of space in Ian’s life and in our couple life. In October, I participated in a student photography exhibition organized by wonderful local photographer and teacher, Linda Rutenberg, for her master class. Do check out her website here to view her beautiful work.

For my part, I chose to exhibit a series of photographs featuring my husband. I called it: Migraine Study.

I am including the blurb from the exhibit as well as some of the featured photographs.

This collection of photographs is my attempt at documenting my husband Ian’s debilitating migraines. With the camera acting as a buffer, this creative process allows for a certain detachment while bearing witness to his suffering and, alternatively, to his attempts at relief. Their almost daily presence: focal, visible, palpable as a pulse, affects every aspect of life. Chronic pain exhausts, it diminishes, it plunders. It is the utter absence of joy, wellness and quality of life. When the migraine lifts, light returns and the story is flipped: the absence of pain restores vitality and the meaningful life resumes. 

Cette collection de photographies est ma tentative de documenter les migraines débilitantes de mon mari Ian. Avec l’appareil photo comme tampon, ce processus créatif permet un certain détachement tout en témoignant de sa souffrance et, alternativement, de ses tentatives de soulagement. Leur présence quasi quotidienne, focale, visible, palpable comme un pouls, affecte tous les aspects de la vie. La douleur chronique épuise, diminue, pille. C’est l’absence totale de joie, de bien-être et de qualité de vie. Lorsque la migraine disparaît, la lumière revient et l’histoire s’inverse : l’absence de douleur redonne de la vitalité et la vie pleine de sens reprend son cours. 

Fingers crossed this works.

My philosophy is try everything if only to keep hope alive. It’s not scientific but sometimes it’s all we have.