bogeyandruby

Random stuff, reflections on the meaning of life and death, humour, self-deprecation, a bit of bad poetry.

Most days I am up with the birds, or rather, before the birds. I’ve always been an early riser no matter how late I go to bed.

I love the deep quiet of the house at that time, the sleepy dawn light, and the slow awakening of nature.

There are chores to take care of first. I hoist my two shih tzus out of our bed, one at a time, then the three of us pad down the stairs to the back door where I let the boys out to relieve themselves.

If there is a bit of light out, I can usually spot two or three squirrels waiting hopefully on nearby branches for me to throw out some bird seed or peanuts.

I feed the fur kids as I prepare my coffee, black these days (you get used to it) and settle in for an hour of reading, contemplation and social media.

Back to chores as I give my sick parrotlet his meds, feed him and my other two birds, make my husband’s coffee and head up to shower.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday I participate in an online weight training class. If there’s time, I do a dog walk with my husband before heading to the office.

What’s your morning routine? Do you wait until the last possible minute before getting up or are you like me, preferring to let the morning unfold at a leisurely pace ?

My seventeen year old boy got his first COVID vaccine today. (Exhale mom … ) Gone are the days when I had to hold him down, distract him, or bribe him with candy and dollar store goodies. He didn’t need my consent to receive the vaccine and took it like a trooper. How grown up is that?

Up to now, everyone in my family bubble has received at least one dose of the vaccine apart from my husband’s daughter but she is scheduled to receive it in a couple of days. I will breathe a lot easier when everyone is fully vaccinated which will be September at the latest.

As well, we have been lucky to escape the virus itself despite some close calls. This doesn’t mean we are out of the woods yet, but we definitely have sunnier days ahead.

What are you looking forward to the most with deconfinement?

The health care worker giving the vaccine was awesome. All four of her kids are vaccinated. That’s right, four!

Our healthcare service is moving to a new site after 21 years at the old one. I woke up teary-eyed and emotional this morning. It’s not the change in building (though the new one is much further from the community we serve) that bothers so much as the fact that the new site has an open-plan space based on the dreaded cubicle-model.

What I am losing is an amazing office space, albeit run-down and worse for wear, and the camaraderie and support of a great bunch of colleagues.

I’ll never understand why a field that values evidence-based practice chooses to ignore the scientific data when it comes to this kind of logistical planning. “Today, studies show that these open work spaces have the opposite effect they were meant to, and actually reduce productivity and lower employee morale.

When we minions question these decisions we are told by management that we shouldn’t be negative even if the evidence tells us otherwise. If I sound jaded it’s because I’ve been down this road before: reforms, reorganization, moves.

One thing I can say for certain, this will be the last move of my career and if cubicle land becomes too unbearable, I will simply pack up my boxes for good.

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Today is the first day of a new writing challenge: 150 words a day over the next month.

Remember Weebles from back in the 70s? « Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down. »

Today the therapist I’ve been seeing for my hip problem described my gait as « weebling » and suggested that the swish of my too long yoga pants was contributing to my poor gait pattern. She suggested I roll up my pants and pull the waist band as high as possible. In fact, pulling up my pants is something I do all day long considering I lack the child bearing hips that would keep the waist band up where it belongs.

Sure enough, the adjustment of my pants improved my gait and my feet lifted instead of shuffled. Gravity is boss though and the pants soon slipped down again. Elastic, zip fly or belt, it all heads South eventually.

I’d be fine if I was a weeble, wobbling through life. First off, I’d have no feet to shuffle. Secondly, my pants would be painted on. Oh, and bonus, I’d never fall down.

This poor bastard has his hands permanently stuck in his weeble pants.

Every once in a while, I check out LinkedIn to see what’s out there in the job market. I’m still waiting for my dream job that will combine stacking books and removing foam from lattes.

Instead of exciting job offers, however, there was a private message from someone who seems to think I need a wardrobe makeover, as if I don’t dress down enough as it is.

« Hi Sharon,

I know we don’t know each other but I’ve been using this athleisure line that is comfortable and holds up well during workouts to running errands; I love it. I don’t know if you’d like it, but I’m just curious, would you be open to checking it out? If you are, great, and if not, no big deal. Let me know either way. »

I responded:

« Hi Kendra,

Sure. I am very short and chubby. I usually wear children’s yoga pants size 10-12 and adult sizes on top. What do you recommend?

Thanks, Sharon »

I will keep you posted …

My husband just asked why I was watching Herman Munster videos on YouTube.

Truthfully, I was looking for one of Herman’s epic foot stomping scenes to validate that Sunday before Monday feeling of not wanting to go to work tomorrow. “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!”

A sore hip has put a real damper on my tantrums of late. Imagine throwing things around with an inflamed rotator cuff or yelling at someone when you’ve got laryngitis. You get the picture.

I did find a scene of Herman smashing a guitar but yikes, I’d never do that.

Funny thing, watching the videos eased the crummy feeling in my tummy. Laughter will do that for you every time. Grandpa was my favourite Munster (“The last time I tried to sleep in a place this small, some guy shovelled dirt in my face.”) and I could totally relate to Eddie Munster’s draconian widow’s peak.

Now if only I could sort out this hip problem. Physiotherapist, heal thyself, lest you find yourself walking like Herman Munster, smashing your guitars instead of stomping your feet.

Like most of you, getting through the past year was an uphill trudge.

Working as a frontline healthcare worker during present circumstances is stressful but I am grateful for an excuse to get out of the house everyday and for the fact that I have a public sector job that is secure.

My husband, spending his last few teaching months prior to retirement at home, held the fort and helped out with my elderly parents who were hunkered down in their house.

Being a natural introvert who loves time alone spent at home, I barely notice COVID restrictions though I am sensitive to the impact it is having on extroverted friends as well as my sixteen year old son in his final year of high school.

If there was one thing that got me through this pandemic, it would have to be reading. For the second year in a row, I have surpassed my New Year’s intention to read 52 books in as many weeks. In fact, this year I more than doubled that amount with a total of 113 books read. All those books read initially with a cataract in my left eye, through cataract surgery in August, through reading with my right eye only post-op as my left eye is now set for monovision, 20/20 for distance only.

One of the most validating aspects of this personal reading challenge has been the feedback I’ve received from fellow bookworms: that my shared journey and monthly list of books read has prompted them to read more themselves.

My intention for 2021 will be the same, with perhaps less of an emphasize on number of books read. The reason for that is I have several large tomes waiting to be read, such as A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth, all 1349 pages of it, languishing on my bookshelf since it was first published in 1993.

My intention is to read and I intend to make reading a priority during my free time.

For those of you who have asked for my complete list, here it is. The scoring system is entirely subjective so please don’t let the lack of hearts on any one selection put you off.

Also, do feel free to share your reading experience during the pandemic. Did you read more or less? Were there some topics that were off limits? Also, how did you obtain your reading material? Did you shop local, online, or did you borrow from your local library or bookworm?

Wishing you a safe and prosperous 2021 and of course, happy reading!

Namaste 🙏

January

1. Transcription — Kate Atkinson ❤️

2. The Dutch House — Ann Patchett ❤️

3. The Ghost Garden — Susan Doherty ❤️

4. The Handmaid’s Tale — Margaret Atwood ❤️

5. Be My Guest — Priya Basil ❤️

6. Reproduction — Ian Williams

7. Late Migrations — Margaret Renkl ❤️❤️❤️

8. The Cello Suites — Eric Siblin ❤️❤️

9. The Poetry of Impermanence, Mindfulness, and Joy — edited by John Brehm

10. Unsheltered — Barbara KIngsolver

February

11. The Family Fang — Kevin Wilson

12. Finding Yourself in the Kitchen — Dana Velden

13. Roseanne — Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahlöö ❤️

14. The Inner Work of Racial Justice — Rhonda V. Magee ❤️❤️

15. The Inconvenient Indian — Thomas King ❤️❤️❤️

16. When We Were Vikings — Andrew David MacDonald ❤️❤️

17. 77 Fragments of a Familiar Ruin — Thomas King (poems) ❤️

18. The Diabetes Code — Dr. Jason Fung ❤️

March

19. The Skin We’re In — Desmond Cole ❤️

20. Immigrants: Your Country Needs Them — Philippe Legrain ❤️ (a very interesting read though I found myself skimming through the economic details)

21. Radicalized — Colin Doctorow (Well written but way too dystopian and close to home for the times.)

22. The Five — Hallie Rubenhold ❤️❤️ (A fascinating social history of Jack the Ripper’s victims.)

23. The Testaments — Margaret Atwood ❤️

April

24. American Dirt — Jeanine Cummins ❤️ (Well-written and suspenseful but difficult to read during the pandemic.)

25. The Sentence Is Death — Anthony Horowitz 👍

26. The Cuckoo’s Calling — Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling) ❤️ (I will definitely read more of this detective series.)

27. The Forgotten Waltz — Anne Enright ❤️❤️ (Gorgeous writing, poignant story)

May

28. The Gifts of Imperfection — Brene Brown

29. The Tiny Journalist — Naomi Shihab Nye (Poetry) ❤️❤️

30. The Silkworm — Robert Galbraith ❤️

31. Weather — Jenny Offill ❤️❤️❤️

32. Sorry I’m Late, I didn’t Want to Come — Jessica Pan ❤️

33. Career of Evil — Robert Galbraith ❤️

34. Small Game Hunting at the Local Gun Club — Megan Gail Coles

35. Wild Milk — Sabrina Orah Mark

June

36. My Dark Vanessa — Kate Elizabeth Russell

37. Lethal White — Robert Galbraith ❤️

38. The Babies — Sabrina Orah Mark ❤️

39. 21 Things You May Not Know About the Indian Act — Bob Joseph ❤️❤️❤️

40. Girl, Woman, Other — Bernardine Evaristo ❤️

41. Dept. Of Speculation — Jenny Offill ❤️

42. I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf — Grant Snider

July

43. Tea and Cake with Demons —Adreanna Limbach

44. Washington Black — Esi Edugyan ❤️❤️

45. One Hundred Years of Solitude — Gabriel García Márquez

46. Dreadful Water — Thomas King ❤️

47. Aggie Morton Mystery Queen: The Body Under the Piano — Marthe Jocelyn ❤️

48. My Sister, the Serial Killer — Oyinkan Braithwaite ❤️

49. Feel Free — Zadie Smith ❤️

50. The Girls with No Names — Serena Burdick ❤️

51. A Paris Year — Janice MacLeod ❤️

52. The Heart Does Break — George Bowering and Jean Baird

August

53. Breath — James Nestor ❤️❤️

54. Cloud Games with Plums — Rose Maloukis (poetry) ❤️❤️❤️

55. We Have Always Been Here —Samara Habib ❤️❤️

56. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone —Lori Gottlieb

57. Where the Crawdads Sing — Delia Owens ❤️❤️

58. The Jane Austen Society — Nathalie Jenner ❤️

59. Intimations, Six Essays — Zadie Smith

60. Big Sky — Kate Atkinson ❤️

61. Snowblind — Ragnar Jónasson

62. Hamnet & Judith — Maggie O’Farrell ❤️

63. Grief is the Thing with Feathers — Max Porter ❤️❤️❤️

64. Fleishman Is in Trouble — Taffy Brodesser-Akner ❤️

65. The Long Call — Ann Cleeves ❤️

66. Vesper Flights — Helen Macdonald ❤️❤️❤️

September

67. The House in the Cerulean Sea — TJ Klune ❤️

68. So You Want to Talk About Race — Ijeoma Oluo ❤️❤️

69. Migrations — Charlotte McConaghy ❤️❤️❤️

70. Nobody Ever Talks About Anything But the End — Liz Levine ❤️❤️❤️

71. One by One — Ruth Ware

72. Field Notes from an Unintentional Birder — Julia Zarankin

73. The Gilded Cage — Camilla Lackberg

74. Last Things — Jenny Offill ❤️❤️❤️

75. Anxious People — Fredrik Backman ❤️❤️

76. The Girl Who Lived Twice — David Lagercrantz❤️❤️

October

77. Songs for the End of the World — Saleema Nawaz ❤️

78. Framed — Frank Cottrell Boyce ❤️❤️❤️

79. Broccoli Boy — Frank Cottrell Boyce

80. The Girl Who Was Saturday Night — Heather O’Neill

81. Just Mercy — Bryan Stevenson ❤️❤️❤️

82. Hyperbole and a Half — Allie Brosh

83. Everything Under — Daisy Johnson

84. Commonwealth — Ann Patchett ❤️

85. Phantom — Jo Nesbo ❤️

86. The Bird Way — Jennifer Ackerman ❤️❤️❤️

87. Empire of the Wild — Cherie Dimaline ❤️❤️

88. Falcon — Helen Macdonald ❤️

89. Rosie: Scenes from a Vanished Life — Rose Tremain ❤️

90. The Queen’s Accomplice — Susan Elia MacNeal ❤️

November

91. A Room of One’s Own/Three Guineas — Virginia Woolf ❤️

92. Horrorstör — Grady Hendrix ❤️❤️

93. The Guest List — Lucy Foley

94. We Have Always Lived in the Castle — Shirley Jackson ❤️❤️❤️

95. Six of Crows — Leigh Bardugo ❤️

96. Crooked Kingdom — Keigh Bardugo ❤️

97. Dearly — Margaret Atwood ❤️

98. Everyday Inspirations — edited by Julia K. Rohan ❤️

99. On Photography — Susan Sontag ❤️

100. Stranger Diaries — Elly Griffiths ❤️

101. No Time Like the Future — Michael J. Fox ❤️❤️❤️

102. Indians on Vacation— Thomas King ❤️

103. Memorial Suite — Jocelyne Dubois ❤️❤️❤️

104. The Lonely City — Olivia Laing ❤️❤️❤️

December

105. Deep Country — Neil Ansell ❤️❤️

106. Old Filth — Jane Gardham ❤️

107. Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead — Olga Tokarczuk ❤️❤️❤️

108. So Long, See You Tomorrow — William Maxwell ❤️❤️❤️

109. How to Pronounce Knife — Souvankham Thammavongsa ❤️❤️

110. The Man in the Wooden Hat — Jane Gardam ❤️

111. A Girl Returned — Donatella Di Pietrantonio ❤️❤️❤️

112. The Namesake — Jhumpa Lahiri ❤️❤️

113. Interpreter of Maladies — Jhumpa Lahiri ❤️❤️❤️

Mike, we always hated that saying “everything happens for a reason”. We preferred to say things happened because of science. Where we once gazed at the same moon, 600 km apart, over respective heartbreaks, I am alone tonight under this bleak November moon. And you are gone because of science, the final heartbreak that stopped your huge and loving heart.

Tomorrow is your birthday but you will not age or eat cake. And I am inconsolable knowing that.

I miss you, my friend.

Happy Diwali!

Yesterday, I picked up an order of samosas and barfi for my dad at a local Indian restaurant/sweet shop.

While showing us around Delhi on family trip to India in November 2001, our tour guide (who happened to be Hindu and who took us around mostly Hindu temples) was emphatic « We are all Hindus. » Picture an Indian head nod and frantic doorknob turning hands and wrists as added flourish to this statement. Indeed, during Diwali, Festival of Lights, we truly are united in our victory over darkness, evil and ignorance.

Photo credit: Valerie Rosen Photography

Here is an excerpt from my journal entry as we landed in India on the eve of Diwali.

November 11th, 2001:

The flight over was interminably long. Poor mom didn’t have much of a meet and greet service from Dorval but there was better service from Amsterdam and then again in Delhi. The wheelchairs were a little ancient looking when we reached our final destination but hey, this is India.

When we landed, mom immediately remarked it smelled like the India she remembered arriving in Bombay in 1962 to marry dad. It was dank and pungent and slightly exotic, not altogether unpleasant.

After getting through immigration, we entered a large open area where people were waiting for their loved ones. Our « loved one » was the travel agent, Mr. Shawshank. Lots of cries of « taxi » rang out, which I had read about in the Lonely Planet guide. Not looking forward to being ripped off, another assurance from the book.

Driving is on the left side here, influenced by the British, no doubt. We didn’t see many other cars but there were a lot of palm trees along the way, not to mention a rather large cow crossing the road. Cows are sacred in India and whereas the driver may have continued if it was a person crossing the road, he did slow down for the cow. It was all a bit surreal.

Upon arrival, we noted the hotel rooms were clean but damp and the showers more than adequate considering where we were.

Monday, November 12th, 2001:

Had a wake up call at 7:30 am and a decent enough buffet breakfast of mildly Indian and mostly Western fare.

Our first glimpse of Delhi in the day was overwhelming as our driver picked us up. There were people everywhere, from beggars to the upper classes, and the traffic was a plethora of buses, cars, taxis, auto rickshaws, bicycles and pedestrians.

Why does everyone honk here? It does absolutely no good!

We drove to the travel agency first, where dad was surveyed by no less than seven people, as he paid for his travel vouchers.

Afterwards, we met our driver, Pandi, and our guide, Mr. Narang, a pleasant, short fellow with a lone tooth slightly left of centre on the bottom row of where his other teeth used to be. The latter, with a notably Hindu point of view, went on to explain the history of Delhi as we visited our first temple called Birla Mandir, dedicated to Lakshmi, the goddess of prosperity and good fortune. (The three main Hindu gods are: Vishnu the preserver, Brahma the preserver and Shiva the destroyer.)

We were distracted momentarily from our reverie when a young man shook dad’s hand and promptly handed his baby over to my sister for a photo opportunity. Apparently it is quite fashionable for Indians to have their photo taken with foreigners.

Off next to the Jama Masjid mosque in Old Delhi which is the largest mosque in India, built by Shah Jahan between 1644 to 1658. It has three great gateways, four angled towers and two minarets, forty meters high. It is constructed of alternating strips of sandstone and white marble. According to Mr. Narang, cleaners hit the walls with pieces of cloth to remove dust and debris.

This was our biggest shock yet as there were beggars everywhere, some horribly deformed from leprosy, shouting Allah, Allah in the hot sun.

At the entrance to the mosque, we removed our shoes (praying they would be there when we got back) and walked through a wide courtyard. Prayers were beginning as men recited the Koran. No women were present and there were no idols or images of God. As our toothless guide explained, the Muslims believe God to be beyond our concept or possible imagination.

People stared and swarmed around us, some trying to rub shoulders, others taking photos. I fear we are destined to be in several local holiday photo albums.

All eyes were on dad as he opened his money belt to pay the mosque shoe guardian.

En route back to the car, we passed through some alleyways and saw people living in what was less than a shanty for shelter. There was also a compound with chickens and goats which were to be slaughtered at the end of Ramadan.

When we got to our van, the beggars crowded in. Apparently many will hire children or babies to get sympathy and money.

Driving through the market in Old Delhi, the decorations were up for Diwali. Rickshaws were everywhere including school bus versions and people were continuously banging at the window hawking their ware or begging for money.

Next we went to the Gandhi Memorial or Raj Ghat as on the other side there is a river. There is a simple square platform of black marble marking the spot where Gandhi was cremated after his assassination in 1948.

Dad found a plaque written in Urdu and asked me to take a photo. I’m not sure why he asked me to take a photo because when I later asked him what the plaque said, he replied that he had no idea. (Urdu is his first language, by the way.)

Lunch was at a restaurant in town where I ate my favourite Indian dish: channa (chick pea curry) and roti (chapatis). I was determined not to eat any meat during this trip.

Afterwards we went to Humayun’s Tomb and then the Qutab Minar Complex. At this point I had had my fill of temples and monuments and was pleasantly distracted by a display of puja cut into a banyan tree.

Through a market area, a madhouse of people were lined up for hours to buy sweets for Diwali which is on November 14th this year. Apparently a favourite shop is Nathus. During Diwali, family members exchange gifts of flowers and sweets. Wrapped in silver or red and gold foil, boxes of sweets are piled high in people’s cars or tucked under their arms. It’s a wonderful, festive time to be in Delhi.

In the meantime, everyone is honking and no one is paying any attention.

Our driver Pandi says you need « good horn, good brakes, good luck » to drive in Delhi. A sense of humour doesn’t hurt either.

We finished the day with a good Bollywood flick before heading to bed.

Namaste 🙏

I convinced Ian that we should dress up as murderers this Halloween. Who knew a costume could be so easy?

“And if your eyebrow goes straight across your head, you will most likely become a murderer.”

“Oh, my God!” someone shrieked, touching their face.”

—  Elaine McCluskey, The Most Heartless Town in Canada 

For some of us, this will come naturally.

What are you dressing up as?

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