A good friend sent me a message the other day:
« I know you will love this writer, if you don’t know her already. This is her most recent blog, but I’d start at the beginning if i were you. »
I clicked on the link he provided and ended up at Jess Pan’s blog, It’ll Be Fun, They Said …
Turns out I do know this writer. In fact I read her book, Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year of Living Dangerously, when it was first released sometime in 2019. My friend knows me well!
I could totally relate to her struggles with introversion, being one of those people who high fives her extroverted husband when plans get cancelled. My idea of a perfect day is staying home in my jammies with nowhere to go and no one to see.
That being said, I frequently step outside my comfort zone, sometimes way outside, in order to keep my social network fed and keep my social skills intact and keep connected with my community.
There are plenty of studies that suggest maintaining social connections as we age can prevent cognitive decline as well as other aging-related consequences.
According to the World Health Organization: « High-quality social connections are essential to our mental and physical health and our well-being. Social isolation and loneliness are important, yet neglected, social determinants for people of all ages – including older people. »
On August 8th of last year, my husband and I were on our way back home after visiting my mum in hospital where she was recovering from surgery after breaking her hip. There was a severe rainstorm happening that evening and my low to the ground Hyundai Elantra stalled as my husband tried to gun it through a flooded intersection. The car quickly filled up with water, up to the seats, and we could not open the doors, nor the windows to get out.
After five minutes of intense panic watching the water level in the car rise, the rain stopped and we were able to get out.
It took us about six hours to get a tow truck. I waited by the car while my husband got a lift with my son’s girlfriend back home to pick up his car.
The one thing that struck me is that I couldn’t think of a single person in our réseau, friend or family, that I would feel comfortable calling for help apart from my son (who doesn’t drive) and his girlfriend.
I asked myself if I was reaping what I sow?
From that moment on I vowed to make more of an effort to socialize, try new experiences, keep friends and make new ones, similar to Jessica Pan’s year of trying to live like an extrovert. I resolved to automatically say yes to all invitations, barring conflicting schedules or previous engagements, and to join some clubs.
Already a member of a community bookclub, I asked to join my work bookclub comprised of a small group of ladies I happen to be very fond of. I started saying yes to invitations for lunch and coffee dates. I even initiated some of those invitations. I joined a local camera club, signed up for photography workshops and asked to participate in a photography exhibition my mentor was organizing. I started weekly online guitar lessons. Just last week, I signed up for a third bookclub at our local library.
Twenty months in, I took inventory and asked myself if I was feeling more connected socially, if I was getting the hang of this extroversion kick. The short answer: no. I am exactly the same person I was sitting in my car with the water level rising wondering who I could call for help, with one small exception: I am exhausted from all the socializing.
bogeyandruby 