bogeyandruby

My husband and I have our fair share of significant dates: there was the facebook friend invite, the first time we met in person, the day we officially announced we were a couple and the culmination of all of these anniversaries, our wedding day.

Twelve years ago to the day, we met in person for the first time. It was a fluke really, because I’d gone off social media for a whole week and only reactivated my facebook account in order to wish a dear friend happy birthday. (Mike, I will always think of you first every November 24th. I love you and miss you, sweet friend.)

Ian had been concerned about my absence and enquired after me to a mutual friend. Turns out we were both attending that friend’s show November 24th, 2012. I saved him a seat and he brought me a copy of his first CD, First Love.

Going back to how we met virtually, it was on the thread of a mutual friend’s facebook post. A while later, I received a facebook friend invite from Ian accompanied by a DM in Messenger that said, « nice tele »I responded, « It doesn’t live here anymore but we can still be friends. »

Neither of us was free at the time but a friendship did indeed blossom, and with it, meaningful conversation that continues to this day, something in a relationship I decided to prioritize for the first time in my life.

One thing I learned from all the men I loved before Ian, an ugly truth: romance should never ever feel like an uphill slog. As corny as this sounds, it should feel like the warm sun peeking out from the clouds. It is so simple really, if you feel loved, you are loved.

Honestly, I think I got the better deal. Two talented and brilliant step-daughters whom I adore, a strong adult role model for my son, someone who doesn’t mind cooking in exchange for clean-up, and the best music teacher ever, though love may have been a little tone-deaf at the time.