Every once in a while, I check out LinkedIn to see what’s out there in the job market. I’m still waiting for my dream job that will combine stacking books and removing foam from lattes.
Instead of exciting job offers, however, there was a private message from someone who seems to think I need a wardrobe makeover, as if I don’t dress down enough as it is.
« Hi Sharon,
I know we don’t know each other but I’ve been using this athleisure line that is comfortable and holds up well during workouts to running errands; I love it. I don’t know if you’d like it, but I’m just curious, would you be open to checking it out? If you are, great, and if not, no big deal. Let me know either way. »
I responded:
« Hi Kendra,
Sure. I am very short and chubby. I usually wear children’s yoga pants size 10-12 and adult sizes on top. What do you recommend?
Thanks, Sharon »
I will keep you posted …
bogeyandruby 
ok this made me laugh!
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Glad I made you smile! It may have something to do with the way I am dressed in my LinkedIn profile: beanie hat and plaid shirt.
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LAUGHING.
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Me too! She wrote back, by the way. Suggested I try something from their line of children’s leggings paired up with a jewel-coloured velour tracksuit top. 😂
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Sharon, maybe your ideal job will be starting your own line of designer clothing. You could call it “FlannelWear”. Your slogan could be “Bring back Flannel!”. Besides flannel shirts, you could offer flannel yoga pants, jeans, winter coats, hats and mittens, t shirts and sweatshirts, underwear and of course masks.
I’ll do cartoons for your ad campaign, as well as for your upcoming memoir.
Mike
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Mike, it’s all I can do to button up my plaid shirts in the morning never mind starting a line of non-designer clothing. At least at my height I don’t have to duck too low to avoid the fashion police. As for my memoir, here it is in the form of a blog! 😉
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hahahahah! You made me laugh outloud – disturbing Beaumont the Sheepadoodle who is sleeping on the floor beside me. He says – maybe that line of clothes would look better than the ‘cow coat’ my mom bought me!
Don’t you just love those random messages on LinkedIn? I once got one from a man who wrote to ask if I would be his girlfriend because I was the second most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
I wanted to write back and tell him no thanks. I don’t like being second best (I mean seriously? Who writes second most beautiful?) but decided silence was in that case, golden. 🙂
Thanks for the memory! (makes me laugh still!)
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That’s too funny and probably a better proposition than any I’ve ever received on LinkedIn! Him referring to you as the second most beautiful woman he’s ever seen reminded me of a quote from the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom: “Mitch flashes back to a basketball game held in the Brandeis University gymnasium in 1979. The team is doing well and chants, “We’re number one!” Morrie stands and shouts, “What’s wrong with being number two?” The students fall silent.”
I doubt your LinkedIn suitor was successful with number one either! Thanks for sharing your story. 😊
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Tee hee! The perfect quote Sharon! Love it — and you’re probably right! 🙂
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This could have been me – nowadays…. I had my 30″ of glory during my time of apprenticeship. We went to school on certain days and I was ‘hunted’ twice as a model for ‘catalogues’ because I was small, head full of crazy curls, always laughing and – at that time – I was still slim…. instead of starting a stunning career as a child-model (I was already 16 or so), I was deeply insulted because ‘they’ wanted me as a CHILD MODEL for a CATALOGUE…. you just made my day with this post. And I came (back?) to you because of Louise and probably because she referred to one of your posts (this?). I tend to forget rather quickly….. and I read her post on the train some hours ago.! Ta, anyway.
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If you asked my friends, they would probably suggest that I would be a good model for « what not to wear »! Keep that modeling offer claim to fame, Kiki. Childlike is certainly preferable over childish! I stopped growing vertically at age 10, hence the children’s pants. Wish I could say the same about my horizontal expansion! 😂
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We could be sisters, sis! I’m 5ft ‘tall’ and sort-of-same-thing wide (not quite but nearly)….. Luckily, I’ve a pretty self-deprecating disposition, a happy mind and a large heart – so everybody can laugh with me, at me, it’s fine by me. I feel good in myself.
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I am laughing at your 5’x5’ measurements because I often complain to my husband that I’m becoming a cube in my middle age!
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